Little Sister
Prayer...
"Oh Lord of the Rings, please help us!"
08/16/12
On the subject of firing...
Alyssa: "Mom, what if someone punches someone else at work?"
Me: "That's a strange question to ask..."
Mom: "...Usually it will result in termination."
Alyssa: "THEY KILL YOU?"
An attempt to use the word "Humongous"...
Alyssa: "THIS TIRE IS HILARIOUS!" while smacking a large tire.
Attempting to escape boredom on a SF road trip...
Alyssa: "List the first thing that comes to your head"
Chris: "Zimbabwe!"
Alyssa: "No! It has to be something real!"
On the subject of Vegetarianism...
Alyssa: "Is Eden a vegetarian?"
Me: "No, why would you ask that?"
Alyssa: "Because she looks like one."
Me: "What does a vegetarian look like?"
Alyssa: "Sometimes they look Indian."
12.25.11.
Taking the game M.A.S.H. a little too seriously...
Me: "H doesn't stand for House anymore, it now stands for Hospital"
Alyssa: "I think it's a good thing if we live in a hospital. If I'm married to the Elephant Man that will be good for us."
My Mother
On the subject of Billy Corgan's past relationships...
Mom: "He dated Courtney Love?"
Me: "Yeah."
Mom: "Gross, she's disgusting, she's such trash."
Me: "Well I figured they're both musicians. Kurt Cobain married her..."
Mom: "So? Kurt Cobain was on heroin, he would have married a trash can."
1.16.2010.
A lesson on letting go...
Mom: "That's always been my motto you know? Bridge under the water."
Misheard...
Aunt: "It's all moist in the morning and it smells all mildewy."
Mom: "Gross! It smells like a wildebeest? I don't even know what that smells like!"
9.13.2009.
Remembering Sadie Hawkins 1985...
Me: pointing at a dance photograph "Who's Quiet Riot?"
Mom: "Some band. Had to get those because Granny wouldn't buy me a Judas Priest shirt. She was all 'Oh, no...that guy betrayed Jesus..' and refused to buy it."
My Grandmother
A zombie version of "They ask for a hand and take a limb"...
Grandmother: "It's like someone asks to hold your hand while they are chewing on the other one"
Family, Friends and Loves
Remembering the days of bartering...
Chris: "Remember when people used to barter for massages?"
Lauren: "Then someone started raping people and messed it all up."
Joseph: "Nah there's an adult services sections now."
On the subjects of Hoochies...
Me: "Aren't those girls cold?"
Sam: "No... Hoochies don't get cold"
Chris: "Is it because they don't have any souls?"
VGA's 2011.
On a rabbit's diet...
Me: "Did you know rabbits can actually eat newspaper? I read it in the rabbit book, I'd think too much would could kill them, you know from all the lead in the ink."
Chris: "Really? I thought it was because of all the bad news..."
Staring at a flyer of NBA All-Stars...
Chris: "I don't know why Whitney Houston isn't on here. She's my favorite All-Star."
2008!
An explanation of Sweetness...
Me: "Chris, why are you so sweet?"
Chris: "...one time my Mom made a cupcake with sugar and I ate it?"
Jacqui and her burro...
Me: "Yeah that's a nice car."
Jacqui: "You know, I'd like to own a donkey...they're just practical."
Discovering Highland Park...
Anna: "Did you know DOG is GOD spelled backwards?...Oh look we're in Italy, again!"
A first concert...
Me: "Is this your first concert?"
Erin: "I...uh...have been to a...um...rodeo?"
8.27.11.
A day at the Observatory...
Erin: After making weird motions with her hands "Don't look at me like that, I was born this way. Lady Gaga said so."
8.27.11.
A mans dying wishes...
Toddy: "if i should die while i'm awake... while i'm going i want to think of the times i was a kid playing outside the house, while my grandpa watered the grass, my grandma cooking in the kitchen and the sun was setting i'll go a happy camper if i can think of that those long summer days when you're a kid...seems like the evening took forever to come.. i always enjoyed that time in between"
8.29.11.
On Italian literature...
Dr. McCormick: "Italian? Oh no. I only speak dead languages."
Prayer...
"Oh Lord of the Rings, please help us!"
08/16/12
On the subject of firing...
Alyssa: "Mom, what if someone punches someone else at work?"
Me: "That's a strange question to ask..."
Mom: "...Usually it will result in termination."
Alyssa: "THEY KILL YOU?"
An attempt to use the word "Humongous"...
Alyssa: "THIS TIRE IS HILARIOUS!" while smacking a large tire.
Attempting to escape boredom on a SF road trip...
Alyssa: "List the first thing that comes to your head"
Chris: "Zimbabwe!"
Alyssa: "No! It has to be something real!"
On the subject of Vegetarianism...
Alyssa: "Is Eden a vegetarian?"
Me: "No, why would you ask that?"
Alyssa: "Because she looks like one."
Me: "What does a vegetarian look like?"
Alyssa: "Sometimes they look Indian."
12.25.11.
Taking the game M.A.S.H. a little too seriously...
Me: "H doesn't stand for House anymore, it now stands for Hospital"
Alyssa: "I think it's a good thing if we live in a hospital. If I'm married to the Elephant Man that will be good for us."
My Mother
On the subject of Billy Corgan's past relationships...
Mom: "He dated Courtney Love?"
Me: "Yeah."
Mom: "Gross, she's disgusting, she's such trash."
Me: "Well I figured they're both musicians. Kurt Cobain married her..."
Mom: "So? Kurt Cobain was on heroin, he would have married a trash can."
1.16.2010.
A lesson on letting go...
Mom: "That's always been my motto you know? Bridge under the water."
Misheard...
Aunt: "It's all moist in the morning and it smells all mildewy."
Mom: "Gross! It smells like a wildebeest? I don't even know what that smells like!"
9.13.2009.
Remembering Sadie Hawkins 1985...
Me: pointing at a dance photograph "Who's Quiet Riot?"
Mom: "Some band. Had to get those because Granny wouldn't buy me a Judas Priest shirt. She was all 'Oh, no...that guy betrayed Jesus..' and refused to buy it."
My Grandmother
A zombie version of "They ask for a hand and take a limb"...
Grandmother: "It's like someone asks to hold your hand while they are chewing on the other one"
Family, Friends and Loves
Remembering the days of bartering...
Chris: "Remember when people used to barter for massages?"
Lauren: "Then someone started raping people and messed it all up."
Joseph: "Nah there's an adult services sections now."
On the subjects of Hoochies...
Me: "Aren't those girls cold?"
Sam: "No... Hoochies don't get cold"
Chris: "Is it because they don't have any souls?"
VGA's 2011.
On a rabbit's diet...
Me: "Did you know rabbits can actually eat newspaper? I read it in the rabbit book, I'd think too much would could kill them, you know from all the lead in the ink."
Chris: "Really? I thought it was because of all the bad news..."
Staring at a flyer of NBA All-Stars...
Chris: "I don't know why Whitney Houston isn't on here. She's my favorite All-Star."
2008!
An explanation of Sweetness...
Me: "Chris, why are you so sweet?"
Chris: "...one time my Mom made a cupcake with sugar and I ate it?"
Jacqui and her burro...
Me: "Yeah that's a nice car."
Jacqui: "You know, I'd like to own a donkey...they're just practical."
Discovering Highland Park...
Anna: "Did you know DOG is GOD spelled backwards?...Oh look we're in Italy, again!"
A first concert...
Me: "Is this your first concert?"
Erin: "I...uh...have been to a...um...rodeo?"
8.27.11.
A day at the Observatory...
Erin: After making weird motions with her hands "Don't look at me like that, I was born this way. Lady Gaga said so."
8.27.11.
A mans dying wishes...
Toddy: "if i should die while i'm awake... while i'm going i want to think of the times i was a kid playing outside the house, while my grandpa watered the grass, my grandma cooking in the kitchen and the sun was setting i'll go a happy camper if i can think of that those long summer days when you're a kid...seems like the evening took forever to come.. i always enjoyed that time in between"
8.29.11.
On Italian literature...
Dr. McCormick: "Italian? Oh no. I only speak dead languages."
Believing you're English...
Me: "Do your best British accent"
Thomas: "Gov'na Gov'na chip chip cheerio!"
Me: "Do your best British accent"
Thomas: "Gov'na Gov'na chip chip cheerio!"
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