Friendships are beginning to wear thin. I feel overused, underused, a door mat essentially that needs traffic for some sense of purpose. Yeah, you can bet that sounds pretty pathetic.
I can't imagine to whom I've been the model friend. I have no interest in being socially active. If socially active requires terrible small talk discussed over loud music with the accompany of some sort of alcohol, well then I guess I'm shit out of luck. I can't remember how I established the friendships that have lasted long enough to mean something worthwhile. Samantha and I met while arguing over a similar pink jump rope in the first grade. I met Anna during a Theater course in high school where she extended her hospitality to invite me to sit with her during lunch where I then met the lovely Gabby and Jacqui. Other than that I can't remember a time where I offered myself first and foremost to establish a friendship out of my own free will.
Maybe that's it. I'm too afraid.
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