Hipsterrunoff.

I don't know how I will survive without XM radio. Recently I've been listening to this station that plays music that I typically don't get on the radio such as Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti, The Yolks, Arcade Fire etc. Anyway, as some sort of punishment for listening to indie music I have to listen to this crap in between, which is a guy with this robotic monotone voice that likes to announce reviews of shows and then cheaply attempts to leave a lasting insightful thought.

"Some people differ in opinions of Animal Collective
Everyone is a critic.
Everyone is nowhere."

I should have soiled myself while basking in all this enlightenment.

Last night I finished some painting of hands, then started to draw faces all over the hands. I kept writing bullshit all over the back of the painting and wondered why the hell every time I create something I immediately want to destroy it. It never really seems like anything I do is completed, it only feels like frustration reached the point of no return suddenly halted. That was it. Done.

Chris comes over sees it, and I tell him to take it away because I don't want to see it. Almost as if I'm hurt by a past production, an idea I once held onto that never turned out the way I had wished.

Lately I've been biting my tongue, more so than ever. I can't be as brutal or emotionally explosive as I've always seemed to be. My convictions are all entangled and soaked in some sort of solvent that is slowly ripping it into flimsy threads. I'm upset with the overplay of MUSE, all rock stations sound like they're trying to commit mass murder by overdosing its listeners.

I can't think straight. I only want to say things as they come, understand things for what they are, and be as I am.

Vampire Weekend bothers me.

There are too many half-read books on my shelf.

Mentally I think I'm still eighteen until I meet someone younger than me and think "What the fuck is going through your head youngling?"

I want to make houses, buy shit pieces of land and turn them into amazing awe-inspiring places of enjoyment---purely for my own pleaure.

I will never be as intelligent and I want to be.

God is too unknowing.

Where the fuck are you capital T?

I don't want to care about what you think, but I do anyway.

I'll give you more credit than you deserve.

I'll give you less credit than your entitled to deserve.

Backwards.