2011, well here we are.
Last night I woke up hearing some squirrel or raccoon in the attic. I ran downstairs and told Chris I was scared and ended up falling asleep on the couch. Then Chris started snoring strangely and I trekked my way back upstairs to stick it out.
I never know what satisfaction I get out of a new year. I have some sort of roll over plan with everything, I don't see any point in looking for a fresh new start. I don't understand why people are interested in starting over. My goals for 2010 are the same as 2011, except they've become more accelerated. My bills roll into the new year, my insurance policy covers the new year, when I return to work my stack pile of files to deal with remains the same with the new year. I'm almost another year older? That's not good. I don't mean to sound like a sourpuss, instead my point is, I don't need to start fresh. I have spent so much of my life convinced that I need a second chance, or that [this] time is really it...that it's finally hit me that...no it's been time, and you've been living on the same chance that your were born wailing into this world with. It's a matter of what you do with that chance, with that one life, and with the mistakes you make. There isn't any possibility to clear your record and do it over. This isn't the fucking DMV or Experian, when even then you're not cleared of a faulty record. You make the mistakes, and you learn how to step up from them.
"Never make the same mistake twice, otherwise you're just an idiot."
I've heard so many variations of this quote, and by far this is my favorite.
So here's to making mistakes, once if you're human, twice if you're maybe too human.
Here's to the struggle.
Here's to the prevailing victory from that struggle.
and...
Here's to 2011.
